Loss of Appetite in a Loved One

LOSS OF APPETITE IN A LOVED ONE

Throughout our entire lives the offering and receiving of nourishment is not only life sustaining, but frequently a gift of love, caring and devotion.

So, during this difficult time, when you a have a little control over the deteriorating condition of someone that you love you may be thinking: “I feel like I’m letting him/her starve to death” or “My dear one would be stronger if only they would eat something” or maybe “Why aren’t the doctors and nurses giving a medication that will stimulate the appetite?” Almost all caregivers experience this at some stage during their family member’s dying process.

Perhaps you have heard that there are artificial ways of giving nourishment via tubes inserted through the nose or a small opening in the stomach. In fact, most of the time the patients themselves are minimally concerned about their lack of appetite. Although the patient may not have actually thought it through – they are experiencing the natural progression of loss of hunger and weight as part of the ongoing disease process, and adapting of the body towards a comfortable and peaceful death. If a patient is made to feel guilty: as if he/she is disappointing the family by not eating, they may force themselves to eat – even if it makes them physically uncomfortable.

We need to recognize that the body is less able to digest and use food during the later stages of a terminal illness. Frequently, by forcing or artificially giving nourishment we cause problems such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or stomach distension. Most people, as their disease progresses, become less and less active and their need for energy intake diminishes.

At this time in their life the terminally ill person should be offered small portions of foods that appeal to them, without worry of dietary restrictions. Occasionally we observe that once the pressure is removed to eat, patients begin to enjoy small amounts of lovingly prepared foods – because they can eat for the enjoyment of it, not because they “have to eat.”

As far as the artificial administration of fluids such as IV’s during the final stages is concerned, almost all hospice doctors and nurses agree that most of the time they are detrimental to the dying person. During the final days or weeks, a natural dehydration occurs in the body because of the patient’s lack of fluid intake and loss of fluids from weakening organs and skin.

Dehydration, as a natural happening in the dying person, often causes a euphoria or lack of awareness which may be distressing to the family if not explained. When fluids are given artificially, we stimulate the kidney system to work as it begins its normal process of slowing down. This causes increased discomfort for the patient as the need for bedpan, urinal, incontinent pad or catheter now becomes increased.

Offer your loved one ice chips, hard candies, or frequent washes with a non-alcoholic mouth wash. Small amounts of favorite beverages or cool water can be given by spoon or dropper. Lip balm or petroleum jelly will prevent dried chapped lips.

Try and remember that 100 years ago or so, the methods of giving artificial nutrition and fluids did not exist; and most people died naturally – in the loving care of their families. Your time can be devoted to providing care to the one you love, as opposed to looking after equipment such as tubes, bottles, and pumps.