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Grief
Those who have lost a loved one
typically experience shock, sadness, depression,
loneliness, anger, denial and guilt. Everyone's
experience of the grieving process is different and the
depth and duration varies widely. For a time, life may
lose it's joy and meaning. The Heart'sWay Hospice
Bereavement Program is designed to support each family
member who has lost a loved one during their own
individual grieving process.
Each family served by
Heart'sWay Hospice receives a sympathy card and
materials explaining the nature of the grief process
shortly after the death of a patient. Each family is
assessed regarding individual coping skills and needs.
The bereaved person is assigned to an experienced staff
member or volunteer for follow up. Regular contacts are
made for a period of up to one year and those requesting
assistance may be referred to a Social Worker or
Chaplain for in-depth counseling or they may be referred
for individual or group counseling as appropriate.
Group counseling, led by facilitator Ron Barber, is
open to anyone experiencing difficulty with the loss of
a loved one regardless of whether the loved one was a
Heart'sWay Hospice patient. Our Care and Share group
meets weekly. Please call our office for the current
place and time.
Individual counseling is also available for those
struggling with their grief who are without the
resources to obtain these services on their own. Please
call the office for information or to arrange an
appointment.
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The
following points may be helpful as you grieve.
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Grief, with its many ups
and downs, lasts far longer than society in
general recognizes.
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Be patient with yourself.
Each person's grief is "individual".
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Crying is an acceptable
and healthy expression of grief and releases
built-up tension. Cry freely as you feel the
need.
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Physical reactions to the
death of a loved one may include loss of
appetite or overeating, sleeplessness, and
sexual difficulties. You may find that you
have very little energy and cannot
concentrate. A balanced diet, rest, and
moderate exercise are especially important
at this time.
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Avoid the use of drugs
and alcohol. Medication should be taken
sparingly and only under the supervision of
a physician. Many substances are addictive
and can lead to a chemical dependency. In
addition, they may stop or delay the
necessary grieving process.
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Friends and relatives may
be uncomfortable around you. They want to
ease your pain but do not know how. Take the
initiative and help them learn how to be
supportive to you. Talk about your loved one
so they know this is appropriate.
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Whenever possible, put
off major decisions (changing residence,
job, etc.) for at least a year. Avoid making
hasty decisions about your loved one's
belongings. Do not allow others to take over
or to rush you. You can do it little by
little whenever you feel ready.
- You may feel you have nothing to live
for and may think about a release from this
intense pain. Be sure that many feel this
way at some point but the sense of purpose
and meaning does return. The pain does
lessen.
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Guilt, real or imagined, is a normal
part of grief. It surfaces in thoughts and
feelings of "IF ONLY". In order to resolve
this guilt, learn to express and share these
feelings, and learn to forgive yourself.
Anger is another common reaction to loss.
Anger, like guilt, needs expression and
sharing in a healthy and acceptable manner.
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Children are often the forgotten
grievers in a family. They are experiencing
many of the same emotions you are, so share
thoughts and tears with them. Though it is a
painful time, be sure they feel loved and
included. Holidays and the anniversaries can
be stressful times
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You and your family can find healing and
hope for the future as you reorganize your
life in a positive way.
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